What does he think he's doing here...??  

28/02/2002

Tucker!!

No, no – the sanitization of the Web-site was quite thorough – perhaps to the extent of making it too bland.

You’re right…. Poor old Spike… that’ll teach you to mention long lost/forgotten idols!! What’s the latest on Dud (Moore) by the way…..oh bugger – maybe I’ve done it now…??

Brilliant – how could you remember all that?? I thought you’d copied it from the book – fantastic – you’ll go far…. Hopefully!!

Spike is a brilliant example of a good bloke – someone who should have become Prime Minister – the world would have been a better place – I liked Screaming Lord Sutch too – not himself – but more all the stupid policies he preached.. yes… why take life seriously, when you can take it irresponsibly? I remember years ago – a documentary on Spike, and at one part he and a partner/friend of his were in his apartment in London reading the poetry of “The Great MacGonigal” – the world’s worst poetry writer (I’m sure you’ve heard of him – around the turn of the century, he wrote poems enthusiastically, but they were sooooooo bad) – Milligan read them and he was crying with laughter on camera – fantastic.

MC

__________________________________________________--- 

From :  Paul Tucker <ptt44@yahoo.com> 

To :    mikecurley@bigfoot.com 

Subject :    Re: Milligan 

Date :    Thu, 28 Feb 2002 15:27:17 -0800 (PST) 

Curley,

Thanks for the Angelfire info.

Re Spike Milligan - no sooner do I mention him in my e-mail to you,  I go and watch the news on the tele to hear that he died yesterday morning. I expect the news has reached you by now. What a shame - he was propably one of our more sensible citizens! So in the honour of a great bloke:

SCORFLUFOUS

There are many diseases that strike peoples kneeses, Scorflufous is on by name

It comes from the East packed in bladders of yeast, so the Chinese must take half the blame.

There's a case in the files of Sir Barrington Piles, who while hunting a fox one day,

leapt up in the air and remained hanging there, while the hairs on his socks turned grey.

Aye, Scorflufous had struck at man beast and duck,  and the knees of the World went bong,

some went bing, some turned to string from Balham to old Hong Kong.

If you hold your life dear the remedy's clear,  if your'e offered some yeast don't eat it

turn the offer down flat on with your travelling cap, put an egg in your boot and beat it.

OOJACAPIV

The people who live in the Oojacapive, stand around in bundles of nine.

When asked how it feels they reply curried eels - otherwise everything's fine.

Puckoon quote:

"Sorry vicar - the cats pissed on the matches!"

All from memory - my memory stinks but I've always been good at retaining the important stuff.

Tucks

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20th November, 2001

Paul & the lovely Dorothy!!

Hope Paris went well – still full of dog-shit?? Apart from that I was well impressed last time I was there (10+ years ago), they actually speak English – some of them – and  even smiled – not the Parisiennes I remembered from years earlier.

Do you know – I don’t have a single Pink Floyd track in my Top 30 – mainly ‘cos I don’t know the tune titles – I’ll go and try after this to get that track from Dark side of the moon with all those alarm clocks going off then … Doooooooommmmmmm…….. Dah…dah ………… Boooooooommmmmmm….. Dah….. dahhh - when we were in Penn, I was listening to it on a Walkman, lying in a small rubber dinghy thing floating around in our pool – drifting off to sleep, fully clothed – and all the clocks chimes and ringing came crashing in – nearly a nasty accident – scared the shit out of me!!

Know what you mean about cheapo ISP’s – I used one in HK for about 10 months – fairly OK – because I was on during the day when most plebs were at work, but of course it crashed and went bankrupt so had to go to another which charged 8 quid a month plus usage – that was Ok but more and more Companies used it – so it degraded over time. Was thinking of uping to Broadband and then we got sent here – and here it is fairly cheap – so am a Broadband user now – 45 quid per month – unlimited use, and its very fast  I did simultaneous downloads of 20+ Thievery Corp tracks the other day – all finished within about 10-15 mins. AND – of course I can watch NakedNews.com – quite fun initially, but a bit boring now – lady reading the news – and takes all her kit off.

Agreed – all politicians are lying bastards – funny here (Singapore – a benevolent dictatorship) – you can say that to people – and they’ll agree, and then you say “so what local lying bastard don’t you like?” – and they’ll say “oh, no – not in Singapore, only elsewhere” – mind-manipulating in practice!!

More soon – just been out of action for a day – the ISP was down – only Singapore Telecomm – ooooohhh-errrrrr!!

MC

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16th November, 2001 - Tucker wrote.....

Curley (& the lovely Janet)

Thanks for the latest - we really must stop tripping down memory lane - we're in danger of becoming Daft Old Sods. 

However, Bike was metallic light green (I think) with drop handle bars - was sold immediately after the Isle of Wight episode. Dorothy and I each have a mountain bike in the garage. We vowed when I retired that we would use them regularly. We probably will but haven't done so yet (in 6 years of retirement) my excuse is that there are no mountains near by anyway. 

Thank Christ you haven't gone all f**king religious on me! You should definitely get a new bike - or preferably a unicycle!! Glad you had a really p*ssy birthday (make of that what you will).

I'll give the Thievery Corp a try. I'm still Pink Floyds biggest fan - met Dave Gilmour (lead Guitar) at BBC on Jooles Holland Show last year - swapped guitar picks with him - isn't he lucky?

I've concluded that all politicians of whatever persuasion are lying bastards so didn't vote last time.

Haven't contacted any of the other lads yet. I've got this free internet access that is so bloody busy it takes an age to log on (you get what you pay for I suppose)that's one reason why this is a bit short. If I get disconnected I'll be up all night trying to reconnect. The other reason is Dorothy and I are off to Paris for a long weekend first thing in the morning so must finish.

More soon, Long may ye dangle

Paul (& the lovely Dorothy)

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11th November, 2001

Tuckers!!

Amazing!! You’re right – 58 on Nov 10^th – I hardly remember it – so many thanks.

Replies to your points:

It was Mystery Train – which – again thanks – I’d forgotten, but did a download and now have it on my PC. I’d already got Lawdy Miss Clawdy some months ago, and Money Honey.

OK – the Buddhist Monk thing – No, no – nothing to do with religion, I have not turned Goddie, seen the light or any such bollocks – like you – I am still a devout coward, believe there is no such thing as a superior being (except Janet of course) – and couldn’t give a Tom Tit about anything to do with Buddhists or Religion. ( I once worked with a lady who got it – though… very embarrassing… she took me to lunch, and very seriously told me what had happened (she’d had a dream and a realization – possibly even a second Coming!!) – I couldn’t stop myself laughing… bad do’s – she was  the Boss for whom I was contracting… but she took it very well – her rationale was…. She’d found something she couldn’t NOT tell other people about, it was so great. I told her “it’s all Bollocks!!”). The only reason I call myself a Risc Buddhist – is that they (the silly ones amongst them) – seem not to value possessions – and as I have so very few possessions, we have something in common. Is that clearer Watson?

Yes, yes – the Lecher Ledger – funny – the only picture I can still remember is of an elephant with a fifth leg, must be getting old!!

But why can’t I picture/remember your bike?? – what colour was it?? What sort of handlebars etc..?? Yes I do remember the Isle of Wight trip – did we stop at Frensham ?Frenchman? Ponds around Petersfield/Hindhead?? I seem to remember the name and a vision of the countryside. Yes it did really happen – you’ve not been in La-la land, riding around Ealing on your Uni-cycle – I remember well all the girls shouting from Bentalls and Lilly & Skinners “put that Todger away – you’ll frighten the customers away”.

Thanks for all the news of Tuckers Inc. – well done your Mum – probably fitter than you or I.

We’re now well settled in Singapore – Janet had her first guest staying for 5/6 days last week – an old school chum who she’d met up with only a couple of times over the last 30+ years, because she lives in Madrid. The 2 of them searched out a third chum who has been living here for 30+ years and she recommended a nice restaurant for my birthday. Took her, Janet and Mrs Madrid there for a good evening (Mrs Madrid had bought me a bottle of Shampop as a present – which I’d opened and drunk most of beforehand – they don’t drink – silly sods) – then had most of a bottle of Red and Mrs Singapore ran us all home in her Benz 500CL (very swish), then she gave me another bottle of Shampop – good result!!

I’m thinking of buying another bike….back in HK I had a brilliant variety of walks from the apartment – honestly some were really hacking through bush, undergrowth etc.. very testing and not entirely safe (snakes and mud-slides etc..) – with lots of ups and downs, but here (shame, shame) all I’ve got is about 12Km of beach to walk along, with lots of notices saying “watch out for falling coconuts”, and lots of scantily clad damsels frolicking around – but its flat, flat and just …. Not challenging. So I thought a bike would allow me to see the whole island – its only 30 miles by 9, and shaped like the Isle of Wight – what do you think?? Or would my nobly knees be a danger to passing traffic??

Talking of MP3 downloads (earlier) etc.. I discovered “The Thievery Corporation” the other day – now have 52 of their tracks downloaded – very cool, hypnotic…… 2001 Spliff Odyssey is particularly good – as is Ave Maria – mostly they sound like Rasta Men but some tracks are Indian, North African etc….

What’s the latest with good old England?? Socialists buggering it up again?? I must say, being unable to vote in HK and Sing removes a lot of “pondering” from life – not that I voted in the UK. But when you have the vote, you feel a kinship (or something) to the country and news that this or that is turning bad, or someone or other is on strike again makes you “ponder”. Whereas here and Hk – who gives a stuff – don’t pay tax (have no income), “pondering” centres more around such subjects as “am I getting enough nookie?”, “I wonder if the lady doing the Naked News – goes?”, “if I pull it any longer – will it snap?” – and other important issues – your views on this important subject would be appreciated. On the subject of voting – did I tell you when Britta got to 18 she asked me to show her how to vote – I hadn’t for many years so couldn’t help her too much – and anyway I didn’t want to! She persuaded me that I had to, so bright and early we trot off to the local Primary school – now the only crowd I’d vote for would be The Monster Raving Looney Party – but they weren’t standing in Denham, so I had to plump for another crowd – The Natural Law Party (Maharishi’s lot I think) – and as it turned out Britta had voted for them too – shame there wasn’t an exit poll taken right then – it would have shown a gigantic swing to the Nutters!!

Have you emailed Mick Burrell?? He hasn’t replied to my email, must rattle his cage soon – also Giblin, Britt and Cocker have gone very quiet!! Maybe they have jobs to do!!

More soon – all the breast!!

MC

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11 November, 2001

Curley you old bugger,

As promised, this is the fuller reply to your last e-mail.

Unless my memory has failed me you must be 58 today (although by now, its probably tomorrow where you are!)

Anyway, happy birthday, we hope you've had a great day. Where the hell did those 40 or so years go since we were at Ealing Tech together?

Re points in your last message:

I vaguely remember the two girls from the art school, one of which should have had a white stick. Certainly, Take 5, what about Rite Petite? Jackie Wilson wasn't it. How about your Elvis LP with Lordy Miss Claudie on it and Train I Ride - great stuff.

I don't want to labour the Buddist Monk bit but does the RISC version include finding some sort of religion? - I'm still a devout coward you know! If you have seen the light I warn you I will take the p*ss mercilessly, as you might expect. No the Knockersby twins did not actually exist, they were merely our reference to the mammary delights we discovered about that time (Talking about that - what about the Lecher Ledger at The Times?) What do you mean I didn't have a bike? What do you think I rode all the way to the f**cking Isle of Weight with you on? I've still got the ridges on my arse! I recall the following scenario in brief:

Awakened about 3:30am by your Mum who cooked us up a fantastic fry up. She was very concerned that we should have plenty of warm clothing etc. but we were travelling light and actually thought we would just sleep under hedges etc. What prats. We left your place by about 4am and by the time we got to Heathrow we were beginning to belive your Mum might have been right. Pressed on to Hindhead were we had another fry up then pushed on to the South Downs at Petersfield where we had a stone fight - ah we knew how to enjoy ourselves in those days - what fun.  Somewhere between Hindhead and Petersfield we got the "Bonk". In cycling parlence this meant we lost all our energy and our legs started shaking uncontrollably. This was a new term to us since it had an entirely different meaning to us prior to that journey. Our understanding of the term up until then was as a description of an errectile state of the old todger - the only connection with cycling being that one could convert a girls bike into a boys bike by providing ones own crossbar. All other memories in your note fondly  recalled. What about the time when, dressed only in a court jester's hat with little bells on it, I rode my eight foot unicycle down Ealing Broadway, waving my enormous double-headed penis to the jolly crowd that had gather to cheer me on my way (Did that really happen or did I just slip into La-La Land for a while?)

You asked for a complete update on Tuckers, so here goes:

Mum's fine, still dancing three times a week - not bad for 88.

Pam & Tony - They have two grandchildren, Nathan who belongs to their older daughter Nicola, and Grace who belongs to their other daughter Joanne. Tony's retired but has a gammy Knee at present so he and Pam are not playing golf for the time being.

Wendy and Chris and their three sons all well.

Our boys - Simon, wife Debbie and baby Oscar all well.

Simon lives in Wandsworth and works for Globix (Large Yankee company based in San Fransico, although his boss is in NY. He flew out to NY today for a week's sales bash) He is responsible for Media Streaming in UK and Europe and is based in the City, just round the corner from where I used to work. 

Phil - his company has done well. He's majoring on sports promotion, particularly soccer and has Geoff Hurst (of World Cup 1966 fame) on his board. He got rid of his Ferrari because he couldn't park it in Town without getting it broken into. He's just bought a  flat in Camden and is moving in there with his girlfriend Symone in a couple of weeks.

Dave - his company is beginning to get going now and he's had a lot of good press (see his website www.junction4a.com - or is it ".co.uk" - try both). He lives with his girlfriend Sasha in a flat in Hackney.

So all boys and girls are in London so, since they are our best mates, we are frequently out and about with them and have great fun.

I've probably forgotten some important stuff but that will have to do for now. 

Hear from you soon. In the meantime, all the best, love to Janet - must meet up somewhere before we pop our clogs,

All the best 

Tucks (Mr & Mrs) 

______________________________________________________________________________ 

November 2nd, 2001

Tucker!!

Yes – I’m having trouble with Mick Woodman – cannot place him – but as you say – we didn’t have much to do with them – except (remember Kaz and the 2 girls that used to come and jive in the hall at our lunch time record sessions – was one Julie – busty and blond – and the other… big …. Eyes… dark long wavy hair… had a liking for you I remember – I never noticed her white stick though she must have been blind!! – also playing table-tennis in the common room and hearing Dave Brubeck Take Five for the first time) . Aaahhh the memories…..

As for the Buddhist monk bit – don’t they give away all their chattels etc..?? That’s where the similarity ends – that’s why I say I’m a RISC Buddhist – R.educed I.nstruction S.et C.omputer (remember them??) – not a real Buddhist – just a (very) “reduced” one.

Yes, yes – the old air rifle, remember shooting up 10 inch records too (bam! There goes Lonnie Donnegan – Rock Island Line – Decca – light blue label) – one of the things I still hope to buy and use – is an air rifle – I really enjoyed that thing – its on my list of things to do.

Jaqueline Knockersby – absolutely!! I remember the name, but was it just our silly name for tits – or were there real people involved?? Dundikkerusit – had forgotten – we were sooooo inventive!!

Yes, yes – I am the Visual Basic king….. I’ve written things for a friend in HK who wanted a Lottery prediction system, and my own UK Pools thing works well (from a systems/programmers viewpoint – as for picking Score Draws…. We live in hope!!)

Tell me what you want – and I’ll knock it up.

How often do you play golf?? I remember in South Africa, we all used to play only once a week – and we all plateau’d – never got better – maybe you have to “devote” yourself more..?? Ha-ha – like the bidding story, only been on one short 2/3 day cruise – but quite enjoyed “being out there”, miles from anywhere – hope you enjoy.

Heard from Mick Burrell the other day – found him on one of those “find friends” web-sites, I’ve put his mail etc.. in my web-site - http://www.angelfire.com/home/mikecurley1/index.htm - in case you’d forgotten. He still seems to live around West Drayton, working in the airport.

So now some memories at random:

Bicycles: As I recall, you didn’t have a bike?? I used to cycle over to your place, but I cannot remember you cycling…… I had a Raleigh Lenton Sports (green) – and years later (working in Dalkeith, Scotland), my car had broken down – and the walk from Hotel to work (about 2 miles) went straight past a bike shop – one morning I just ducked in and bought…. A Raleigh again (cannot remember the model – but exactly same design – but they didn’t have green – only shitty brown). I can remember vividly just starting out from your place one night, just pushing up the slight rise from your house – and it was snowing!!… great!!

Swimming: We used to go to Heston, especially in the winter – now – there you are – you must have cycled there – cannot remember your bike though. Brilliant, getting well cold on the way there – then eventually getting into the “warm” water. Remember the tin changing cubicles – standing up and chatting over the top. Then the disaster of leaving the warm baths and cycling in the cold back home – where – roaring fire, food – drink - music, fell asleep.

Cars: You’re green Austin A30 – and the crash down near Yeading – that bloke sliding across the road right into us, also your dad’s yellow Anglia – and I can honestly remember you/he asking where my Battery was (in my VW) – and I’d not found it by then – so I told you “it doesn’t need one” – I didn’t know cars had batteries!! Those great days out Wendy, Dorry – driving all over Hampshire etc.. trying to get lost. I have pictures – but they’re in the UK somewhere…… so maybe I don’t have pictures..

What’s the news of Pam/Tony – can remember the last time I met them – and we were trying to hatch a scheme to get Tony onto a plane. Maybe after 9/11 – his reasons for not flying are even more sensible…. Also Wend – last I knew – she was up Lake District way?? And of course the offspring… Simon, Phil, David – full report please!!

Now here is ..the plan…… so you don’t need to come visiting too soon…….. Janet & I have “done” Hong Kong – good place, we are now in Singapore for at least 3 years, and after that may retire to Philippines. For you to visit – better to wait until we get to the Philippines, because - you can visit HK, Singapore and then come to Philippines, whereas – if you visited now – you might visit HK & Singapore – but you’d never go to the Philippines. Get my drift??  There again…. I’m not sure about living in PP’s – all those “natural” disasters and then they have the not so natural ones – also corruption, too many people etc…. but it is cheap!! We’ll see.

Excuse me…..?? “how did she get lumbered with me??” – lucky lady!! She still laughs a lot, so she must be enjoying life………. Or maybe she just doesn’t understand her problem!!

As you say “keep it in yer trousers” – so hot here – shorts and tee shirt everyday – and you know the problem of shorts which are only 12 to 14 inches long…. Continual problem for me!!

All the breast!!

MC

______________________________________________________________

From:   Paul Tucker <ptt44@yahoo.com>    

Date:   Thu, 25 Oct 2001 13:54:56 -0700 (PDT)

To:   michael curley <mikecurley@altavista.com>

Subject:   Re: Never......?

Curley,

I never 'ad nuffin' t' do wiv dem poofs in the Art School so I still don't know who Mick at My Tinpony is.

Anyway, good to hear from you again.OK - so you've got rid of all your chattels but what about the buddist monk bit? Also, what did you do with the old air rifle you had? Do you remember? One of us would hide in the shed at the bottom of your garden and had to run from the door to the garden fence and back without getting shot by the other one - ah the joys of youth. It would have been dangerous if it hadn't been for the bent barrel that made it impossible to hit a barn door at 10 paces. Do you remember the Knockersby twins - Diane and Jacqalin? What about Dundickerrusit (the colour of a mouses fart) Ooops! hope that hasn't offended the e-mail interceptors - sorry.  It seems you are currently under-employed and have lots of time and also the skill to write VisualBasic applications - in which case I think you should write Dorothy and my golf results database application which I will specify for you. Also I had the brilliant idea of creating an international golf club on the Internet, based on using the leading PC golf game -so you could be getting on with that as well. You might think that I am keen on golf but I'm still crap and think its generally a bl**dy (Ooop! again) waste of time.

I bid for a cruise at a charity event a while ago just to give the impression that I was a generous-hearted type of bloke but due to my total lack of skill at such things I got stuffed with it, so next year we're cruising the Med for a week - that is as long as by then the US don't think that Mr Bin Laden is holed-up just off the coast of Italy somewhere and there's still a Med to cruise in.

Anyway, that's enough rambling for now.

Love to Janet (poor girl - how ever did she get lumbered with you)

Keep it in yer trousers

Tucks

______________________________________________________________________________

From:   Paul Tucker ptt44@yahoo.com

Date:   Sun, 15 Jul 2001 14:49:58 -0700 (PDT)

To:   michael curley <mikecurley@altavista.com>

Subject:   Fwd: Tuckers

Curley you old bugger,

Be afraid, be very afraid!! The Tucker blood line goes on. We had a grandson on 5th July - Oscar Simon who of course, is absolutely perfect. Jpegs attached which I hope you can translate.

What are you up to these days? How is Auntie Janet? Where are you working now?

I've remembered some more Ealing Tech Names: Blither was Paul Riley, Latham was the one he wacked on the head and got expelled for. How about Micky Burrell? Good centre forward, had a bit of a speech impediment. Litchman - jewish boy. Anne Callaghan, Margaret Leggat - somewhat rotund but great character, Carol Philpot, Anne Hobday - vicars daughter. I believe the headmaster's name was Foulks. I cant remember if you had Mark Wilson on your list (and can't be bothered to check the website). There was another little lad whose name I can't remember, who was quite timid but won my admiration for his gobbing ability, which was awe inspiring, to the extent that we knew him as "Phlegmmer Fred" Whenever I tried to emulate him I never seemed to get enough momentum so that that which was due to detach and propel forwards, didn't. My school tie evidenced a number of failed attempts. I think it was Martin who asked in his note if we remembered burning our school caps on the last day.

Not all of us did - mine is still in the loft somewhere. But then, of course, I was a prefect and had a bright green peak on my cap. Parker and Robinson were also prefects. How clever of the teachers to recognise so early the management potential of Parker and Robinson and the arse'ole crawling Tucker.

Let us know how you're getting on you old git.

All the breast

Paul 

_____________________________________________________________________

From: Paul Tucker <ptt44@yahoo.com

 To: cocker@hinet.net.au

 Subject: Re: Ealing Technical College.

 Date: Friday, 22 June 2001 18:44

 --- COCKER <cocker@hinet.net.au wrote:

  cocker@hinet.net.au

Paul

I have managed to make contact with Mike Curley who posted his details on the Guide to Knowhere-Ealing bulletin board.  I have also found Alan Britt simply by doing a search on his name.  I attach the letter I sent to Mike.

Have you any contacts from those old days.  Would be very pleased to hear from you.

Regards

Martin Cocker

Martin,

Great to hear from you. Marvellous thing this Internet! I had contact with Terry Monk a few years ago but unfortunately have last contact again now. I also think that I may have the wrong contact details for Mike, could you let me have them please? 

What are you up to now? Where do you live? Any family etc. etc. I'm retired, living in Hampshire, 3 sons, about to be come a grandfather for the first time in about a weeks time.

Again, great to hear from you.

Paul

From: Paul Tucker <ptt44@yahoo.com

To: Martin Cocker <cocker@hinet.net.au

Subject: Ealing Tech Follow-Up

Date: Friday, 22 June 2001 19:10

Martin,

I was so flabbergasted to receive your e-mail, I fired off a response before I read your attached letter to Mike. 

Just reading all the names you listed bought some very happy memories flooding back - they were good days indeed.

When I left school I joined a firm on the London Stock Exchange. They were one of the first firms to install a computer and I trained as a programmer. I progressed to computer manager and became a partner. We sold the partnership to Morgan Grenfell at the time of "Big Bang" in the City in 1986 and I became Director of IT  for the new Securities Company. Morgans got out of the Securities business two years later and I joined the main board as Group IT director. Four years later we  sold Morgan Grenfell to Deutsche Bank. I stayed on as Group IT director for another five years when I was fortunate enough to be able to retire (age 51!!). I can thoroughly recommend it!          

My wife Dorothy and I have been married for 34 years and, as I said in my earlier e-mail, we have 3 sons and are about to become grandparents for the first time very soon. We both play golf and travel quite a bit. We are seriously thinking of visiting Australia so watch out! I'm trying to fullfil a burning ambition that I've had since a teenager by learning to play Rock, Blues and Jazz guitar. I've got a great tutor and have set up my own recording studio. I'm fast becoming the pensioner from hell!!

Keep in touch. All the best

Paul

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